I know why I’m doing this, but I feel empty without it.

Like the title says, I wanna masturbate and watch porn so badly. It makes me feel better (the stimulation not the porn itself), it helps me calm down, it gives me an escape. But I don’t want to hurt my female friends with the effects of me watching porn. Nothing intentional of course, but the subconscious effects that it has on me and the way I may treat them as a result.