If You’re Struggling, You’re Not Alone, Neither Am I

Hi everyone, I debated whether to even post this—but if there’s one thing I know right now, it’s that silence doesn’t help me heal. Today I hit a wall. I became the victim of online blackmail—someone exploited my vulnerability and threatened to share intimate content of me. I’ve taken the right steps: reported it, protected my accounts, blocked them. But emotionally, it wrecked me. And it wasn’t just a one-time mistake. If I’m being honest, I’ve been struggling with compulsive sexual behavior for a while. I’ve spent over $400 on hookups and scams—money I didn’t really have. Some of it was real, some were traps. All of it left me feeling emptier. Tonight, I smoked to try and calm down. I want to quit that too… but I know I can’t fix everything in one night. So I’m starting here. I’m showing up, messy and hurting, because I want to feel real again. I want to quit the habits that are dragging me down—not just for my future, but for my sense of self. I want to connect with others who understand what it’s like to carry shame and still want to grow through it. If you’ve ever felt out of control, or done something you regretted to chase a feeling or numb one, I see you. And I hope you can see me, too. Thanks for reading this. I’m open to support, advice, or even just someone saying, “me too” ♥️