My gf caught me using the app last night
Last night I was scrolling through posts and my gf was bored and being nosy. She grabbed my phone and saw that I was on the app and asked what it was about. I explained to her that it’s an app to fight porn addiction. I promised her at the beginning of our relationship, five months ago, that I would stop watching porn. I lied to her and she broke down crying. During the moment I felt nothing and annoyed I refused to see it her way. “I doing this to get better idk why you’re crying” I said this out of frustration, I tried to manipulate her and see that it’s fine but it isn’t. Yall might laugh but I imagine her as black cat when we have sex lol, is she built like black cat? No. I felt nothing during the whole ordeal because it was at midnight, I was already tired and I wanted to sleep already. She picked the right time for this, I said in my head constantly. The words were going in and out the other ear, as cliche as this sounds but she really deserves better, in my eyes she’s beautiful, amazing, she’s gullible and slow at times but that doesn’t stop her from being the best. She’s also losing work I’m also trying to get her to go on the gym on her own at times but she doesn’t budge because she’s shy she watches what she eats and goes on walks by herself and with me. Before I left for deployment she was a torta and before we got back together she gained weight. Her ex made sure no one would take her when they broke up and I’m glad because she’s mine now, hopefully. Porn addiction is the bane of my relationship, my whole existence. I’m taking a stand and quitting. We’re both going to try to work it out but mentally I’m already checked out as in if she breaks up with me, it won’t hurt as much. I’ve done this in my past relationships and I want to stop doing that. I’m currently on day 2 on the road to day 3 and I’m feeling better, I’m going to delete apps like twitter, I’m keeping Reddit because I use the app for everything about pcs, games, etc but I am going to Turn off “show NSFW”. Reddit is a cesspool of porn and also I am deleting tumblr, Threads because it’s literally twitter, expect there’s no porn but there’s a ton of soft core porn on that app, and telegram, well I’ll exit the groups I use for porn. That’s my rant and sorry for the yap sesh. Yeah yeah ik TLDR lol but it feels good to get this out.
Hey Cam, I just wanted to share a little bit of my story. There was a point where I almost lost my marriage because I bought into the lie that the grass is greener on the other side. Porn had me convinced that my wife wasn’t enough—that I needed something more. That mindset nearly destroyed what mattered most to me. It took therapy, a lot of hard conversations, and a ton of work to start rebuilding trust. I had to be completely open with my wife about my struggle, and by the grace of God, she stood by me. She supported me like I was coming off a serious addiction—because in many ways, I was. Now, we’re walking through this together. Every time I feel the temptation to go back to porn, I remind myself: I can have intimacy—real, emotional, physical intimacy—with my wife. I’ve shifted my mindset from chasing personal pleasure to focusing on giving her pleasure, on connecting with her. And that has changed everything. Since then, we’ve become more connected, more intimate, and our sex life has grown because I’m pursuing her—not a fantasy. I’ve been more intentional in approaching her with love and desire, and it’s been powerful for both of us.