D1 and d2 receptors, intimacy and premature ejaculation.
It's 45 days actually that I haven't looked at pornography but I've had briefs here and there (both social media and online escort search and a few encounters) that have slowed my reset. Every time you abuse your receptors it's like you slow down your recovery by 7/10 days. Unfortunately, social media scrolling, TV series abuse or intensive gaming also slow down your recovery. I rehabilitated my erection and got in touch with my body again through body scans and mindful masturbation. Basically when I masturbate to this day I can stay in the present, I get aroused without any mental images just through body sensations. I'm dating a girl and I've noticed that when the brain knows it has to get into real intimacy it responds with performance anxiety due to the control issues established by my parents and so I get numb. I have also gone with escorts on an exploratory level and there indeed the erection lasts because there is no judgment in intimacy, on an oral and masturbation level even with them I have no difficulty but once penetration takes over I suffer from premature ejaculation. I know my dopaminergic receptors are still in the russian mountain phase in that sense and since penetration is much more enveloping in terms of senses (heat, pressure etc.) my body responds by having to release the orgasm immediately because of too much dopamine received. I am practicing kegel exercises to strengthen my pelvic floor but I am of the opinion that it is still more of a mental issue rather than a physical one. Now I am thinking of going to Holland to do a STP with a surrogate partner to help me in my goals namely: Reconnect with my body and pleasure in a non-compulsive way. Overcome premature ejaculation and performance anxiety. Regain spontaneous erections with a partner. Learn to trust a partner in an intimate, non-judgmental setting. Break the pattern of trying to control every aspect of sexual experience. Is anyone in the same situation as me, advice from more experienced than me?
I do not see it as an attack on the contrary, excellent constructive criticism. The reality is that sexuality for me is a biological thing and as much as I try to stay away it always comes back. I would like to be able to respond in a healthy way and with a healthy sexuality, create first of all an intimate relationship that is not based only on sex but where there is also the possibility of doing it in a healthy way (because even the woman rightly demands it, we are made to procreate). I live very well in reality and I have many hobbies, I simply look for answers because I want to improve. But I’m not as slave as it sounds, I’ve learned to manage my impulses rather well in these years of roller coaster. I am no longer a total slave of impulses, I just want to enjoy them in a healthy way every now and then. I honestly don’t think that distracting me is a good solution, it just means running away from the problem.