I can’t believe it..

All those days wasted because I couldn’t control myself for one moment. I was doing so well and I was about to hit 2 weeks. I knew what was going to happen too yet I still did it. This week gad genuinely been a struggle for me, but thats no excuse for what I did. The only reason I relapsed too was because of social media. Man.. FUCK!! The only word to describe how I feel now is disappointed. I didn’t even feel pleasured or fulfilled, I just felt disgusted in myself. I need to do a dopamine detox now and delete all socials until I feel ready again. I should’ve deleted them earlier, but I kept telling myself that wouldn’t relapse. Now look where that got me, I’m right back where I started!! All I can say now is that I HAVE TO KEEP MOVING. This is a setback but it doesn’t mean I can’t still rise to be better. This still doesn’t feel real to me, but I can’t dwell on the past for too long. I’ve got to prepare myself for the storms to come and be confident in my ability to fight. Today I didn’t fight, I didn’t even try. I will though from now on and I promise it. Love yall and God bless! “Oh yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.”- Rafiki (Lion King)