Thought
I had a thought that hurt. I’m alone. Every day that passes I’ve been alone for longer. I work out, I try to refrain from porn, I have Jesus, but for some reason I just got a wave of sadness for no reason. If you guys saw me then you’d think I’m crazy bc I have so many people around me that love me and stuff, but I can’t explain the feeling of depression that came over me. As I look at dating from a Christian perspective, I can’t imagine any woman willing to have a relationship with me. If I told them I’d had victory for 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months…if I were them I’d look at that and say “that’s too recent.” I’m starting to feel like no matter how much victory I get the consequence I deserve is to be alone. This might just be a little phase or my hormones might just be buggin
I know He hasn’t…how could I believe that fully when He died for me? That’s another thing that makes me feel guilty. Is doubting His love. How could I? It’s stupid. And it’s probably frustrating hearing me vent haha so sorry if it is. Truthfully I’ve been struggling for so long and fall into the same thought cycle. I always come out back to God, but it always happens in the same order. Please pray for me.