You can’t resist nor should you resist temptation. Rather than resisting, refocus. Think of your triggers. When I lay in bed looking at my phone I am tempted. Porn is one click away. I remove myself from that situation. The longer you stay in it, the higher the chance of you relapsing and regretting it.
So what do you refocus on? Because I’m having a hard time finding my purpose. Like before I used to try to stop to be closer to god, but I kept relapsing so I started to think wow is that not a good enough reason ? And I hate myself because now I doubt my faith. And then I started saying I have to get better for me because this makes me a lazy effortless scary coward who thinks he will be handed everything in life and can just do nothing. While at the same time being mad when he doesn’t progress. But that didn’t work either and I kept relapsing so now I’m like wow! Do I not even care about myself enough to not harm myself? Like if that’s the case then why am I even trying ? I’m just faking saying I want to be better when I really don’t because I don’t even give a F about myself ! And this though is destroying me bro I’ve been losing myself completely this is the worse I have been in my life. And I’m scared because it’s like I’m trapped in my own body.
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I completely understand how hard it is. Considering I am here we have all been in situations like you. Last year I found myself the lowest I have ever been. I crawled out of that but now I have crawled into that same hole and I stopped myself before getting too close to being there again. Something that helped me was to do several things that people can take accountability of me. I started with a personal trainer because I am obese. Then I started planning trips with people to go hiking in the mountains. And now I use this app to keeps track of the days I have racked up. But honestly the BIGGEST help for keeping this streak going is the sleep I have been getting. For 6 years I have not slept good aside from when I went to Colombia for a week. I sleep all the way through the night and waking up has not been as difficult. It was hard for me to understand how that is even possible that it is a benefit but it really has been. Honestly what it is going to take is finding those benefits to stopping. Also when refocusing have you tried taking a car ride? Going out to a restaurant even by yourself? Put yourself in a place where watching porn is frowned upon. Do something that’ll make you forget about it. Avoid your triggers. Don’t put yourself in the positions that cause them. You can do this bro.