I feel terrible
As of recently, I’ve been eating clean Whole Foods and gone on a few streaks of no fap in an attempt to better myself. I made some progress along the way, but I’ve relapsed a bunch. It seems that everytime I go back to eating fast food and dopamine maxxing, that is when I relapse. I’m sick of living in this repetitive cycle, and honestly I might end my shi if I keep doing this. I’ve tried so hard to have discipline but I always fail myself.
I was in an ATV accident 1 year ago, and my arm was degloved. After 15 mentally draining surgeries and excruciating nerve pain, I managed to keep my arm with titanium hardware and limited mobility. Even though I was able to keep my arm, y’all have no idea what it’s like to have a curve in your arm and not be able to perform basic human tasks with both arms. I go to the gym 5 days out of the week, pray to God, and eat healthy (most of the time). But I just cannot control my urges of lust. Idk I’m just at my wits end.