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Why I turned to porn

Day 47
by G
28 upvotes

I’ve had a very rough day today resisting the urge to fap and look at porn, specifically fetish related porn. It annoys me that I feel this urge but it has also reminded me why I turned to porn in the first place. Porn has been an escape for me for many years, a coping mechanism in a way. Rough life at home? Calm down and turn your worries into kinks, drifting off into la la land where your pain is your pleasure. Over the years, my life has become significantly better but I still carry a lot with me. The way I was raised and experiences I had being young don’t just go away, and so porn still served a purpose in my life. Now, it’s a new purpose, same old story. Struggle in real life, turn to porn to cope. Nowadays it’s about making up for a life I wish I had, on the sex side of things, sometimes I wish I had experimented more, got out into the world more. I’m still young but am in a committed relationship of 3 years, the only person I have had sex with and likely the only person I ever will with, which is absolutely great and I’m grateful for it. But this is where it gets tricky, I have what many wish for and still, that desire to have “lived a little” sticks even though deep down, this life is what I prefer. So porn has become a way for me to live that life and experiment without changing my “real life”. But recently that urge has just grown stronger, making me want to live it irl, affecting my relationship and my mental health. I’m not sure what to do about this other than keep moving forward and hope that the absence of porn in my life will push me to desire better things in life

Comments (4)
Thor176d ago

I’ve been saying nearly the same words, my friend. My mind is shot, I can’t remember where, probably in reply comments in QUITTR Chat. Maybe taking it out with Melius. But yeah. Stuff happened for me in youth, in the Navy. I turned to porn because I couldn’t deal, I couldn’t do real people relationships. I haven’t gone to to much of a pain extreme, but I’ve gone way out of the norm in my porn. I’m 55 now. Been married 24 1/2 years to the only person I’ve had sex with. Finally kicking this addiction away. Hang in there. I’m doing this because my wife, my God and my health are more important. My long term is more important than the moment, so I’m making the momentary choices to go do something else (like clean toilets—what a horny mood killer!) to have the better years. I believe you will to. You got this.

Scott177d ago

Sending some strength your way. Have you tried journaling? Writing out those desires you’ve described and where they may be coming from? FOMO is a real thing, but if you follow the thread in your own brain back to the source, you may find a set of beliefs your brain is trying to feed you that don’t serve you well. Get curious, as I remind myself a lot. Where is it coming from? And map out the impacts it would have. Would living a little outweigh the loss of a committed relationship? And is there something off in the relationship that has you thinking of exploring elsewhere? Ask yourself and dig deep, reflect and find the answers - they’re all inside somewhere, you just have to ask yourself the right questions to draw them out.

zackary pereira177d ago

It 100% will brother we’re in this together you’re doing great!!

Harlem177d ago

It takes a strong man to say this. Stay strong man and do your best to stay away and get those negative things out of your mind. You’re doing good and you no longer need to cope with porn. Idk if you believe in God of not but ask him for help if you do and you’ll be good. Jesus is king!!

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