I’m so lost in my addiction I don’t even know who I am without it

Sorry, Philip— I was just expounding on my first comment. The advice you gave is great. Having accountability is one of the pillars that getting clean rests on. As a Catholic, I have the sacrament of confession that I look forward to and I have all of you supporting me. If that is not enough to have a lasting impact on my strategy, I will absolutely step up to another level. I must. Gladly, this app and my catechesis has been a literal Godsend. Talking with you all has been a tremendous help to combating the assaults.

Amen bro amen

You’re a Christian. You know that, when you start to follow Christ, you realize how much you stumble after Him and how much you need His mercy and His grace to go on. Being Christian is realizing how broken and flawed we really are. You have learned how much of a challenge this is by attempting to quit. With anything else, should realizing that you’re not able to do it on your own be a reason to give up? No. This is no different. Keep trying and, if you fall, fall into the confessional. Reconcile with the God of the universe who is always pursuing you and live for Him again every time.

Whatever you guys decide to do in the marriage dept, do not do what i did, i was exposed to Porn at the early age of 10, and have been addicted to it every day since, i am now 35 and been married for 13 years and the urge of masturbation is much worse when you get married, i would encourage you both to seek guidence from a pastor or someone you know can help you thru the struggle, me personally i have accountability partners that hold me accountable in my slip ups and it helps guide me back to the path. Im around if yall ever wanna chat, i said i so in 2012.

Buddy, I just want to say—you’re not alone in this. That feeling of being lost when you step away from an addiction… it’s not a sign that you’re broken. It’s a sign that you’re stepping into the unknown—and that’s something to be excited about. You mentioned not knowing who you are without it. That may sound scary now, but I promise—it’s the start of an adventure. The Faustian spirit in you—that restless hunger to explore, to break boundaries, to discover something deeper—isn’t something to be ashamed of. It just needs a better direction. You’re not falling into darkness; you’re charting a course toward the truth of who you were always meant to be. I’ve been exposed to this stuff since I was 10. I’m 32 now, married with more blessings than I could have ever dreamed of deserving—and I still struggle. But I can tell you this: the fact that you’re tackling this now, even earlier than I did, shows how strong you are and how far you’ll go. Yes, it gets harder the longer you’re in it. I am a testament to that. But healing is possible. And better yet—so is joy. I’m still trying and I’m starting so much later than you. It has taken me years of self reflection and devotion to God to make it to even where I am now. Through my searching and practice of abstinence, I can tell you that you will find new things to love, to laugh about, to build your life around. Things that won’t leave you empty afterward. You’re stepping into the wilderness right now—but you’re not alone in it. You’ve got a whole community here walking with you. And more than that, God walks with you. “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8) The journey to rediscover yourself is one worth taking—and I believe you’re going to come out the other side stronger, wiser, and more alive than ever before.

Remember bro it’s Jesus Christ that died on the cross and defeated sin in your life for good. You need to trust in that, you need to believe in that and you need to walk it out in faith! The devil wants you to think it’s normal, but it’s NOT! Jesus already defeated sin and all of the devils schemes before he can even try. You’re a son of God and if you just let go and trust in him 100% I promise you’ll persevere. Also - whenever you have lustful thoughts, do this: First, stop and immediately think of Jesus on the cross and him shedding his blood for you. Second, if you know he did that for YOU, would you still do that to him knowing very well you’d essentially be betraying him? There’s scripture that says since we’re believers we’re judged even more harshly because we know the truth. And if we end up going against that, that does NOT look good to God… Keep that in your back pocket. As much as I say all this to you, I’m 100% in your same situation also, so this is just as much a reminder to you as it is to me. Good luck brother.

I resonate with this. Im getting married next year and also told myself that im better then I am and I came to a big conclusion. Porn, guilt and shame tend to make you lie about a lot of things to lessen the pain of accepting it all. For me I find that I wasn’t confronting the hard truth. Once you accept who you are atm then healing can begin. For me it’s putting action into things to make me a better man for my fiancé and future kids. To catch yourself lowing to yourself and others and accept your faults. From there you can learn from the pain. Make a solid list of rules to live by. A code, commandments whatever it is but to live by principles instead of avoiding accountability that shame and guilt attracts us to do. From there you will begin to see more of who you are come to the surface. Do this for your future wife and kids.

Sir, your faith as a Christian can be a benefit and a harm. You should take time to meditate and pray for help and support from god. Doing this can help ease your pain. Also, you are not lesser because of your struggle. Please allow it to make you stronger. God bless you sir

Just know you are not alone. My story is very similar minus the getting married part. When I first downloaded this app I went 4 days and then relapsed. 2 weeks later I haven’t come close to 3 days clean since. I’ve started the research book in the middle tab and i’m making it a point this week to finish it. I recommend you do the same and let’s both try to stay clean this week!

The hardest part is starting Take it one day at a time Reading the easy peasy method was an absolute game changer for me Remember it makes it so much easier to say “I don’t smoke/drink” as opposed to “I’m trying not to smoke/drink”