Chat rooms
For me it’s not just porn. It’s chat rooms. It’s talking to women on Snapchat and other apps. The conversations start normal but digress quickly into degeneracy. Over time I have become more manipulative, which is a trait I absolutely despise. I can go a week or two without, but I always seem to dive in deep. I spend hours pursuing these vile conversations, neglecting my other obligations and all progress in any of my positive pursuits come to a stand still for sometimes days at a time. This is the definition of an addiction, pursuing something even when the harm it causes is obvious. So yes, I am an addict to pleasure. Porn, masterbation, imagination, chatting rooms. I often attempt to justify my addiction by thinking about as a little escape from reality for a bit. But truth is, I am not escaping reality at all. I am not making my reality much worse. I am borrowing from my future happiness for a mere moment of pleasure. The pleasure fades quickly and I am left to face what I have said and done. Though the gals I converse with are not innocent, I feel I am making myself responsible for their sorrows and degeneracy. In my selfish beeline towards euphoria I bring others down with me into my brokenness. I feel aweful. This is actively harmful to us all. I am the worst of all sinners. Yet I know there is mercy even for me.
Gentlemen, I appreciate your thoughtful responses. That was far more encouraging than I thought it would be