SSA

I’m 29 years old and have always struggled with SSA. I grew up in a Christian household and got saved in 2017. I’ve never acted on my SSA, except for watching porn. And I’ve never told anyone in my entire life of this struggle. It’s literally the thorn in my side that Paul speaks about in Roman’s 7. The Lord has been so faithful to keep me, and I have a beautiful wife and a beautiful baby. I still get tempted, but I turn to Christ. Sometimes, however, I feel so disconnected from other men at my church, like I can never really open up to anyone about my struggles. I ultimately think it’s the devil trying to keep me shackled in shame for having this affliction I never asked for, but it’s so deeply rooted I resolved years ago to take this thorn to my grave. I have a deep rooted fear of being rejected by the people I love. And now that I have a child I just pray that they don’t have to deal with this ever. I don’t want them to ever this much shame and guilt. It’s unbearable sometimes. I’ve cried myself to sleep countless nights, but the Lord being rich in mercy gives me peace in the mornings and I go on seeking to live for his glory. Stay strong brothers and sisters!