The benefits will be worth it

It’s a tough battle, but every second you say no is a victory. I’ve been dealing with heartbreak, my girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago, we were intimate, and I think about those times, and it makes me want to turn to porn, but the truth is, it’s not the same feeling, and I’m just trying to fill the void, while it might hurt, and I miss her, porn isn’t the answer. I watched porn before her and during our relationship, and I think it did have some negative effects, like lack of self control, and disappointment when sex wasn’t frequent. The truth is, I was waiting until marriage, but on my 20th birthday, we had too much to drink, and with alcohol involved and with my porn abuse, my judgment was clouded, we were together for a little over a year, with some on and off things, and a lot of intimacy. I know I can’t shut my brain off, and I can’t forget about what happened, and I can’t change it, so I have to accept it no matter how much it hurts. Porn isn’t the answer, and I owe it to myself, my future spouse, and God to be better. I’m trying not think whether or not my ex will come back, I’m still sad, I still miss her, and that’s okay, I will be okay again, with or without her.