Everytime I relapse, itโs always because I start having the battle in my head thatโs telling me to not do it. But for some reasons my body goes on autopilot and just keeps going toward opening the tab. It just feels like I canโt control it.
Yea I do get that to, it took a long time to not fight but flee it, Iโm not perfect ofc I hope I donโt relapse anymore, God help us all, but once the thought comes in itโs hard not to stop thinking about, trying to keep your mind busy but then it keeps coming, once you fall back into it though and fall for that temptation, itโs like the snow rolling down the hill, that auto pilot feeling like you say. But relapse is part of the process, try to build that time in between relapses, flee from all the lustful thoughts, its easier said then done but it takes time, talking to each other and building but not a resistance but a replacement, this app is just a tool, same with the porn, we use it, started little by little and well here we are now. It goes the same getting off of it, little by little and itโll grow and one day, we will be deliver from it. Itโs a change of lifestyle, like becoming a bodybuilder or losing weight etc it take time, in the end we will be free from it. It will not have a hold of us no more.
Yeah literally was thinking about this last night. Felt like I had firm commitment to staying clean, and like an hour later relapsed and it was like I didnโt even give it a second thought. Zoned out. Weird
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Yep. Well practiced patterns allow us to dissociate from conscious management of things and from expending the energy required from living in the moment, but we also lose the benefits of those things.