Reason Number 1 of Why I Want to Quit Porn.

Because I hate myself after watching porn. Literally as soon as it’s all over the wave of shame and depression is so overwhelming that you feel like your life is over. You feel like you’re purposefully ruining your life even though your not, but you have those brief thoughts of stopping whenever your gearing up to watch, so you feel like you should have listened to those thoughts of stopping. But then you don’t, and soon as it’s over the overwhelming shame is almost too much. I’ve been closer to taking my own life after a bout with porn than pretty much anything else in life. Which is why I will quit. Because if I don’t quit and I miss a Godly woman that God has set in my path and in my life. I’m not sure I’ll want to stay alive. Because the thought of me ruining my own fucking life because I couldn’t keep my mind focused, because I couldn’t keep my eyes on Jesus, because I couldn’t keep my hand off my dick like it’s a fucking worry stone. It would be Hell. And then I miss everything God has for me. It would be crushing. 20 minutes of pleasure is not worth potential suicide or the regret and shame I feel after. It’s not worth turning my back on God. I have dealt with this for 8 years. I have tried to quit before. But this has to be it. Because I’m done hating myself.