I don’t know what else to do.
It seems like no matter what I do it’s never enough. I’m trying so hard to man up but my parents are not having it, saying it’s “toxically masculine.” They’d prefer me a feminized loser, and it shows in that they keep making excuses for me to just relapse. They won’t let me pursue a relationship with God and they won’t let me go to the gym. I am a minor and I live with them, I’m completely directionless and I don’t know what to do in life. I only ever wanted to be a net positive, but it seems like I’m going to grow up to be a detriment to society. And no one is telling me HOW to man up, just that I should. I believe them, but how do I become a man? Where do I start? And how the hell do I know you’re not lying like the last 10 guys I listened to? It’s exhausting, and truthfully if I don’t fix this by the time I come of age, I’ll kill myself. I’m so tired of living as a detriment to society, I’m tired of being sub par. I just wanted to be a net positive, if I can’t do that then life is meaningless.
Funny, I used to watch Hamza Ahmed and he became a Jeffrey, you could say. I’m disappointed in him.