Relapsing to cope

Ive had a long week between work and my personal life. A lot of stress has been going on, and I just would get really tense.the site blocker works, but I find Reddit and just look anyway. Or worse…..I just download google chrome and I’m good to just roam free. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t party, I spend as much time as I can with friends and family…..but usually, eventually, I am alone. Yes Ive had girlfriends, and they have traumatized me. They approach and I just rather not be involved. I don’t even know how to feel about intimacy anymore. I relapse to cope, and I hate it…..but I do try to NOT relapse too.