I need advice
Guys, I have a girlfriend and we have been dating for 3 months, itll be 4 on Friday. There’s this lingering chain that consistently stays on my mind and brings me discomfort. It’s about her past. I am her 4th boyfriend and I am not upset at that fact. The thing that bothers me is her past. Last year, Her second boyfriend manipulated her into having sex because she loved him and he cheated. That same summer she went on a 2 man and after the 2 man the guy asked her to suck his dick. She said no but I’m assuming he just stayed persistent and she just ended up sucking it anyways. Now summer is over and we are back in school. Now, Her second boyfriend, last year still, asked her if she wanted to fuck and she agreed to it. He treated her shitty apparently so she broke up with him. And now I am with her. We started talking in January. We ditched class sometimes to hang for a bit and one day she ended up kissing me. I was so happy I told my homie. I come to find out she didn’t want a relationship she just wanted to hook up. (Yes it ended up being true) but apparently overtime I made her want a relationship. I asked her out February. We have had sex yes but apparently I’m the only dude who she allowed to not use a condom. Anyways whole thing is, I can’t stop visualizing and it linger to me because I know who her bodies/relationships were. I saw them every day. It hurt. I am now out of HS so I just need advice. How do I get over this lingering pain.
First I’ll start by saying that it is normal to think about your significant others past relationships/bodies. Unfortunately, when those past experiences are in your face every day, it can be difficult not to COMPARE yourself to her past. You start asking “am I better than her last?” Or “am I the guy she settled for?” None of these questions or thoughts help you be the best person you can be. They feed doubt and resentment toward your gf. And of course you can never throw her past in her face as a defense mechanism. Because you knew her past before you decided to be with her. But also be aware of her patterns. 4 boyfriends in a short span of time is alarming. And reluctantly having sex with a guy as a way to make him content or stay with her is very telling as well. She depends on that romantic connection so much so that she’ll do things she doesn’t really want to do just to keep it. Honestly, I wouldn’t call what youre feeling as pain. But I’d describe it as awareness. You want to look beyond her past in order to have a great relationship but you find it difficult to ignore some red flags that have come up. You have to be honest with yourself on whether you are the guy she really wants to be with or are you just another phase in her life. Her past isn’t that far behind her and you’ve only been with her for a few months. So if you can’t look beyond her past, it may be best for you to reevaluate your future with her.