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Failure

Day 3
by Sean
14 upvotes

(Unrelated to porn) I fucked it up. I missed my opportunity. I missed my chance. Once again froze in the moment after promising myself I would ask her. I even talked to God about her man. I fucking HATE MYSELF. WHY AM I LIKE THIS WHY CANT I JUST DO IT WHAT IS STOPPING ME??? I’ve never shared my feelings with anyone and that’s the problem. I learned to push it deep down and I’ve never genuinely had a conversation with someone and told them how I’m feeling. I feel weak. I’m a failure. Gonna just keep going to the gym and pushing myself harder until I get injured and fall into even deeper depression. Feeding into the negatively - the TikToks, the sad audios, the music. Fuck me man. FUCK ME. She was supposed to be the one. Missed the chance cuz I’m a bitch. A pussy. Just want to isolate and leave everyone and everything in the past. Lift myself to death. I don’t even have hope for my future anymore. I’m so mentally gone it hurts. I need help. I need a hug I need to breakdown I need comfort. I feel weak for saying this but I just want to be held and told it’s going to be okay. I fumbled the last girl I genuinely liked when I actually had a heart and now every time I get too scared I’ll make the same mistakes. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to be her. I’ve lost all hope in myself. No one truly cares. I’m not important in anyone’s life. I’d be quickly forgotten by most. Losing my sense of purpose. I want it to be her man. WHY CANT IT BE HER i need love. I want to know what it feels like.

Comments (7)
Marcus101d ago

You are at a very difficult stage. When I try to bounce back from something like that the urges are strong and unforgiving, but it is not impossible to overcome. Use every tip and trick you can think of. Leave your phone away from your bed. Set a timer when using a computer. Hard focus on a hobby or a productive activity like cleaning and cooking or going on a walk with music.

Hunter101d ago

Hey Sean- you got a lot of strength in you man! I appreciate this message and can relate to a lot of it. It’s difficult; but you are beyond WORTHY! I think the mindset and hunger for growth is going to continue to help you succeed and overcome challenges. I am on my own journey to truly believe in myself and know that I am worthy. God knows it I now just need to see it and believe it.

Luciano 101d ago

Sean, idk how old you are but there will be MORE girls down the road that will leave you even more mesmerized. That’s the least of your worries though. Focus on yourself. You’re worth so much more than all this. You have value. You matter.

Luciano 101d ago

Hey brother don’t beat yourself up. I totally understand. I’ve been in the same boat you’re in right now. My similar situation was years ago but I still remember how much pain I was in and how much I was hurting. I know it’s hard because of the narrow vision the depression is causing you to have but you have to try your hardest to move forward with little goals and having optimistic tracks. I had to learn everything the heard way and I wish I had something like this app but we’re here now and that’s all that matters.

Sean101d ago

I’ve been friends with her for awhile but she’s the most amazing girl I’ve ever met and all I see is beauty in her imperfections. Every chance I get I don’t do it because all I care about is her and not making her uncomfortable or awkward. Even on days I’m feeling confident talking with her or I feel she’s somewhat interested I can’t do it. Feeling like she deserves a better man.

Sean101d ago

It’s my fault all I feel is regret

Fierce_Deity101d ago

Why are you beating yourself over it? Do you realize that freeze is because maybe it’s not the right time to engage? Believe me I freeze up too, but sometimes the confidence just floods out of no where and you’re able to talk. So never beat yourself over that my friend

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