Failure
(Unrelated to porn) I fucked it up. I missed my opportunity. I missed my chance. Once again froze in the moment after promising myself I would ask her. I even talked to God about her man. I fucking HATE MYSELF. WHY AM I LIKE THIS WHY CANT I JUST DO IT WHAT IS STOPPING ME??? I’ve never shared my feelings with anyone and that’s the problem. I learned to push it deep down and I’ve never genuinely had a conversation with someone and told them how I’m feeling. I feel weak. I’m a failure. Gonna just keep going to the gym and pushing myself harder until I get injured and fall into even deeper depression. Feeding into the negatively - the TikToks, the sad audios, the music. Fuck me man. FUCK ME. She was supposed to be the one. Missed the chance cuz I’m a bitch. A pussy. Just want to isolate and leave everyone and everything in the past. Lift myself to death. I don’t even have hope for my future anymore. I’m so mentally gone it hurts. I need help. I need a hug I need to breakdown I need comfort. I feel weak for saying this but I just want to be held and told it’s going to be okay. I fumbled the last girl I genuinely liked when I actually had a heart and now every time I get too scared I’ll make the same mistakes. I can’t do it anymore. I want it to be her. I’ve lost all hope in myself. No one truly cares. I’m not important in anyone’s life. I’d be quickly forgotten by most. Losing my sense of purpose. I want it to be her man. WHY CANT IT BE HER i need love. I want to know what it feels like.
You are at a very difficult stage. When I try to bounce back from something like that the urges are strong and unforgiving, but it is not impossible to overcome. Use every tip and trick you can think of. Leave your phone away from your bed. Set a timer when using a computer. Hard focus on a hobby or a productive activity like cleaning and cooking or going on a walk with music.