A better life.

I am 34 and want a family in the worst way. I just can’t seem to attract a decent partner. I attract a lot of addicts and people that use me for my kindness. I’m really tired of this and I want to draw boundaries. However, it is very easy for an attractive woman to manipulate me with the promise of sexual validation. I don’t want that to be a possibility anymore. So here I am day 2 of no porn/masturbation. I’ve tried just about every kind of self help I can think of. I find that the more extreme self help measures usually work for me. It’s now time to admit that I have a problem. Even though my porn usage was not that bad, it still displayed and encouraged a dependency that I would greatly like to distance myself from. This feels good, but it’s also really scary. What if it’s like all the other problems I fix? Loneliness really sucks, especially when you feel alone due to your own self improvement. It’s like I am not attractive because I have strong boundaries. This is also starting to feel like every reaction with a woman is just me trying desperately to avoid her manipulating me with sex. It’s a big issue that keeps me from actually getting to know someone. I’m always questioning the other persons true motives.