Transactional Sex - honest opinions

Religious views aside, after reading the discussion so far, I would not underestimate the slippery slope aspect. Once you get a taste of the sex, it’ll either be really good that you’ll be more inclined to seek more sexual satisfaction, which could trigger a phase of relapse and ruining all the progress you’ve made so far. Or you try it and the sex is lame because there’s no genuine connection. At that point you’re both just using each other for your bodies, which is objectifying each other and really the same thing done/mindset we have when we look at the women in porn. To sum, the temptation is not worth the potential destruction it can cause.

Honestly the only reason I’ve even slightly entertained the idea is: 1) she is quite attractive 1) part of me wonders if having a regular sex partner would make abstaining from masturbation that much easier for me, but the potential of a slippery slope is the counter to that, so hard to know which would happen Most everything else is a clear no.

Appreciate the responses so far. Honestly my #1 goal has been to just improve my self and my life in all facets. Whether it’s appearance, health, career, PMO, and many other things. I’m working really honestly very hard on a lot of things all at once which is transformationally very exciting but also a lot to take on at once. Some of what you say definitely aligns with what I think. Deepening relationships is definitely a goal. FWB in theory to me sounds okay, however, I don’t like the transactional spin that was attached to the proposal (like if we were hooking up because we genuinely just wanted each other, that’s okay to me) - although your comment about future partner comfort with me keeping a friend I had that kind of relationship with is a good call out that I hadn’t yet considered. My worry as well is the potentially slippery slope of it all, so for that and other reasons I’ve mentioned I think I’ve been leaning no the whole time anyway. I am looking for connection and future more than just sex.

If your goal is to work out more, have a social life, and explore your sexuality with real people and not a computer, and you’re not trying to meet a wife or start a family in the next few years, then it’s possible that FWB is completely OK

For example - if your goal is to deepen relationships, surely your next partner isn’t going to be thrilled about your past with FWB. And If your goal is to get urges under control, seems like a slippery slope, and that a FWB is likely going to lead to looking for more FWB, or even sabotaging existing relationships trying to turn them into FWB.

(…cont) has a chemical effect on your brain, and how you perceive the world, and how your prioritize your day. I personally can’t see how FWB is any different than porn (porn even sounds less complicated), but it really depends on what you’re trying to accomplish.

It really depends on your values, and why you’re in this community. Is it to deepen relationships? Is it to spend more time focusing on yourself? What problem are you having with PMO? Based on everything I’ve read here, the main thing is to realize PMO

No money involved. More like a “hey, I know you don’t have a girlfriend right now, I’d be down to mess around every now and then if you help me with…” and I’m big time working on myself. Truthfully I don’t think she’d have even brought this up if not for all the work I’ve already done on myself. There is a big part of me that thinks similarly that I could be feeding the addiction, so that’s why I’m looking for opinions. Because at least to start it’s not genuine sexual connection.

If that’s how you want to spend your money, so be it. Personally I’m on this journey for religion and to become the best version of myself, so I can’t speak for yourself or others, but if the best version of yourself pays someone for a hook up then that’s up to you. I personally think it’s still feeding the addiction though. God bless and I hope you find joy in your decision, whichever it is!

Are you referring to FWB situation? even if you go into it transactionally over time you will catch feelings, I would say no, but that’s just me.