A reminder about depression
I am writing this so I can hopefully never forget the depression porn leads me to. I have the strong desire to disembowel myself and I know I will never go through with it, but the thought isn’t leaving my head. I feel unworthy of this life. I feel unworthy of everything I’ve been given. I corrupt the beauty God has breathed into this world. The beauty of women who we turned into objects and nothing more. I don’t even know who I am anymore. If my past self saw who I am, wouldn’t I want nothing to do with me? Such a strong sense of hopelessness like I’ve never felt before. I have had a taste of freedom before my temptation got the best of me and I spit it out. The word, spinning in my head, is unworthy. I haven’t felt this depressed in a very very long time. Do not let yourself relapse, there is absolutely nothing to gain. Never forget that temptation will only lead you into a place of pain. A pain that, in the moment, feels like it may never leave.
Believe in yourself you are worthy of having a beautiful life. You just have to tell yourself that everyday until you believe it. Write it down a million times if you have too. It’s all just a mindset. When you tell yourself you are unworthy it makes a further space for you to disappoint yourself. But the truth is you can take control