What do I really want?
Identifying the feeling that has been behind my urges has been helpful this week at first i wrote it off because i was lonely. But after really looking at the past few times i fell into porn I realized Loneliness wasn’t the right word. It was just the first thing that came to my mind It was a sadness and self loathing and a feeling that I’m not enough, that something is wrong with me. for falling last time the way I didb or just feeling like a loser. The root wasn’t in lust or desire. That wasn’t what the feeling was. That wasn’t what I needed in those moments. I should have called someone and said “Hey this is what I’m thinking and feeling about myself, I’m feeling really bad about myself, could you give me some empathy and love?” That’s what I should have done in those moments. When I really can identify the feeling and sit with it for a bit, I can see I don’t want to watch porn or masterbate. I want something that will actually address the problem.
i feel you bro and this usually is the root of my lust too not feeling enough but i just wanna remind you that you are enough your worth more than you can imagine and there’s someone that loves you more than you can and even comprehend and that’s Jesus he sees how much your worth