I’m so tired of this

I should be better than this. Why am i so attached to porn. It has such a stranglehold on me. It breaks my heart thinking what if my girlfriend found out. I can’t let that happen. I want to do better. For her. She’s the love of my life. I want to marry her. I don’t want to cheat on her with porn. It breaks my heart every time i relapse. I have to beat this addiction. For her.