I found the motivation to actually try!

I have just started on my journey to being porn free on my own will. No one forced me to do this. I want this for myself. In the past, I have tried to stop cold turkey and that never worked, obviously, as I am resorting to this extreme measure of downloading some app with internet blockers and a community to surround myself with to not feel alone. In the past, I would try to claim that I am not addicted and that I could just stop cold turkey if I wanted to. Then when I would give it a shot, I wound up failing a few days later because of something I saw on social media or some well endowed female on a tv show or video game. I would even fail because the poison in my brain would tell me that “it’s not like watching porn is going to ruin your life if you don’t get caught, just be secretive and nonchalant about it so no one suspects what you’re doing.” It is only until recently that I suddenly had the urge to purge those thoughts out of my mind. Those were quite possibly one of the most toxic thoughts I can remember having. I need them gone. Not because anything in my life is requiring it, but because I’ve realized they exist, and I no longer want to be under their control. I have God to thank for giving me the strength to start on this journey. It has been hard but I want to try so bad to get rid of any urge to go back down the cancerous path of porn