Really Sad to Admit it.
I’ve given my life to Christ for literally all of my life.. but because of this stupid addiction, am I really a good Christan? If I pass away tonight I really feel like I’m going to hell. Ik Jesus washes our blood clean but I just keep running back to it. If something happens to me I’m sure the other side won’t be so friendly to me.
Jesus tends to the broken-hearted. Don’t let the shame and guilt you receive from relapsing have you think that you’re not worthy of Him. What you’re questioning right now is literally the voice of the enemy as satan is now using that guilt and shame festering within to pull you further from God. As long as you recognize that porn is a problem for you, and you’re not enthusiastically going back to your sin, God will always accept you into His arms. However, if you feel distant from Him always remember: He’s not the one who left (Hebrews 13:8)…. Therefore, it’s up to you to pour your heart out onto Him, lay your anxieties onto Him (1 Peter 5:7) and He will heal you. Pray for the strength to resist satan’s temptation, put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:11), and keep God close to you in this fight!