You aren’t gonna pull this off without God.

I wasn’t religious. In fact I was technically an apostate- raised Catholic, rejected it, began following again in the Marines, rejected it again, found God again after my divorce, thought Norse gods were cooler so I changed over, then poof I’m back. And I will never leave from here, this I’ve vowed. This last year I completely surrendered- a broken man. And Christ loves our weakness. See this is funny for me- I’ve been INSIDE the holy sepulchre in Jerusalem. I made the pilgrimage. I walked Christ’s footsteps, I have been to the garden of Gethsemane. I know it’s real BECAUSE I TOUCHED IT. And I still had the balls to say “nah man Odin likes to drink and fuck soooo.” But only Christ was there in the dark with me. Only Christ was there when I had my gun to my head. Loved me when I felt so unloved that I couldn’t stand being alive despite having a beautiful wife and child. I’ve been warring with this addiction for years and I’m here to tell you, it didn’t click until I surrendered. We’re weak. Our souls are weak and easily misguided. But when we are lost and looking for guidance, our Shepard is always there no matter what with more forgiveness for us than we could give to ourselves. I couldn’t keep running and believing I could do this alone. I never could. That was my lesson. And I’m sure I’ll stumble. I pray not to but I’m sure I’ll relapse or move just ever so slightly outside the lines that it barely meets the requirement of abstaining. And my God will be there. Christ will be there to lift me to my feet, put a hand on my shoulder, and walk with me as I try again. I know this is true because I’ve done it. It’s real because I touched it. God’s love is real and we can embrace it, feel it, TOUCH IT. We are weak, and we must embrace that we alone are weak so that we may be blessed with the strength to carry on. You aren’t going to pull this off without God, in whatever capacity you worship, but you MUST worship. I love you all.