Better Than This
Just a quick warning I’m gonna vent so skip if you don’t want to hear a 20 year old’s rambling. Writing this after relapsing, for the 3rd day in a row. I went strong for about a week after downloading this app; and now I’m back to daily. This time was different, because I thought of stopping. Not just stopping but of God, the Devil, the old girl, and my life. I told myself, “be like the 1%, be stronger” and yet here I am. This addiction won’t leave me and I don’t know how to get rid of it. It’s to the point where I’m sexualizing my female friends, some of which are in relationships. Then there’s the old girl. Long story short I was obsessed and had to block her because of that. I never knew if she was the one, doubt she is but who knows what’s in store. During my relapse I thought of her. Now I’m a religious guy and wondered, “where would we be at if it weren’t for this lust?” I can’t say for sure but I doubt my obsession would be as prevalent. I want to be better than this but it’s hard to resist the visions of porn that flash in my head. It’s gotten so bad to where I’ve considered doing it work, that’s why I even downloaded this app. Don’t know what I’m hoping to get, maybe advice. I’m not strong enough to go on any further.
Realizing that you need to quit p already puts you ahead of the game. I had to personally ask myself would I rather continue to do it to a screen for the rest of my life and make a change and one day give that to someone special and start a family. God and your future are rooting for you. Please don’t give up.