Day 5
First time in a while ive been sober for 5 days straight..no loopholes or mental gymnastics.. straight up no edging...partial glimpsing ...looking at social media models and searching to see if they have any leaks only to find that they don't and telling myself that I should keep looking until I find any kind of explicit material "by mistake" leading to an inevitable relapse....this time I'm actually clean for real. Today's been hard...back at work and watching myself repeat patterns and catching myself before I do something stupid...I'm literally laying down to take a nap and my mind is racing with what I used to do during this time instead of napping...which is why I'm here writing this to show my brain that I know what it's doing and it needs to chill lol...hope that removed it's power over me. Anyway...keep the fight going fellas and gals!
The mind has a funny way of justifying things. I’ve been down that same road trying to justify the same exact things to myself before. I’m glad to hear that you recognize this, it’s a crucial step to staying clean. Stay strong brother, you got this