Day 05!
Hey guys! First post I’m making, it’s a beautiful day here in sunny VA. I would have to say yesterday was my hardest day yet since committing. I had a wet dream (apparently), but can’t even remember what it was, I just woke up to the aftermath, and that’s usually when it’s hardest for me to not give into temptation. Thank the Lord I didn’t give in even tho it was so tempting. I blame myself somehow and degrade myself further even tho I literally had no control. Today is better and I can feel myself having more comfortable social interactions. I have ZERO confidence and self-esteem, so it’s crazy to see how even in just 5 days I can feel this progress. It’s going to be very off and on like this past week, but today definitely feels like a good day. Part of the reason why I used to fall into this sin too was because of how lonely I would feel. I still feel so lonely even with friends, needing that special relationship, but I recognize I’m not ready (and even if I was somehow, I don’t have the confidence yet). I need to become the man of God I know I can be, even tho I’ll never be perfect. I’m excited for this journey and I want to fight it with my whole being. Building good habits and reading the Word will help fill my mind with purer things.
Everything you said is right on, normal, beautiful! I just hit 50 days today, and everything you’re wondering about…gets easier, better, more awesome—sometimes day by day! Confidence zoom zoom!