7th day

It’s 7th day of my journey, journey to finally be free, to end this disgusting addiction. It’s amazing that for the first time I don’t really have to fight this. I don’t have to keep myself busy, I can scroll through Instagram and even if I see some half naked girl, I’m not getting any temptation, I simply ignore it. I have some minor urges, but as soon as those arise I’m able to shut them down. I’m disgusted by even a thought of masturbation and watching porn. Finally I understood how pointless and meaningless this is. And for the first time I truly want to end this. Before I couldn’t truly imagine that this could end. I couldn’t image not doing this anymore. It was always like I was starting another break from this but I knew I would do it again in the end (I’m trying to quit since 3 years). But not this time, this time is different, I can feel it. This time I can’t image doing it again. There might be some tough moments for sure, I’m aware of that, it may not be that easy all the time. But I’m regularly thinking why I don’t want to do that, why I’ve started this. I’m doing this to never be caught off guard. To always remember why this is so bad, how much I’ve lost because of this addiction. Because it was how I got addicted in the first place (10 years ago go), everybody was doing it and joking about it, like it was nothing. Nobody knew how bad this is for us humans, nobody told us not to do it and what the consequences could be. But now we know and as a act of self love and respect, everybody should do everything they can to end it. Keep fighting good people, really believe that you can do it, because you can!