Day 10 Check In

10 days down, on to 11 and I have really begun to shift my mindset. I’m not trying to quit, I simply don’t watch porn, or masturbate. They are no longer a part of my life. Relapse isn’t an option. I have kept myself super busy, and honestly I’m feeling great most of the time. As far as porn urges go, I’ve been a little surprised that it hasn’t been more difficult for me there (especially given how long I have been consuming), but I’m grateful that it hasn’t because the I’ve to masturbate has been steadily growing. I’m not going to do it, I’m not going to give into it, as I said I simply don’t do it anymore. But that doesn’t mean my mind and my body are not screaming for it right now. There is no question in my mind that quitting both is truly hard mode, but I’m confident for me this is what I need to do. I’m working toward that total mind and body reset. Sooner or later I’m going to need to find a healthy sexual release. 4 months. I’ve given myself 4 months to continue to work on myself. Lose weight, quit porn, quit masturbation, eat better, manage/reduce my stress and anxiety and just develop better habits before I start dating. I’m firstly working to improve myself for me, to become someone I can be proud of, but also to become the kind of boyfriend any potential partner deserves me to be. I’m very excited about this, but also very nervous and anxious about getting started, given my lack of experience at my age. It’s going to be a rough 4 months but I know I’ll come out of this much stronger and much better. I loved Kathryn’s recommendation to make all usernames more unique, so we can tell people apart better. I’ve decided to do my part now and changed mine from simply kevin, to this, Kevin.exe. Being able to connect with individuals here and part of that is going to depend on being able to tell what’s definitively their posting. As always keep strong everyone. I believe in you all. We will put this addiction behind us together <3