Things that help
1. Shaming yourself after viewing only makes things worse - accept it and move on. 2. Work on becoming grounded - when your mind starts running and the feelings get intense - drop into your body. You may find it’s not all that scary. Breathe into it. If there are thoughts driving the urge, just watch them. 3. Take a look at your underlying beliefs - does viewing help reduce stress or does it create more? If you can’t prove it in court, be willing to be wrong about it. A lot of these beliefs may be the loopholes you create for yourself when triggered. Challenge them. 4. Define your problem in a way that helps - does calling it an addiction give it more power than it should? Or is calling it a habit you’ve developed to help cope with certain emotions better? Whatever works for you. 5. You can be proud of who you are starting today. You don’t have to go on a 100 day streak to feel empowered. You are worthy always. 6. If you constantly try to resist, you will eventually run out of steam. Feel the emotion and give it space. You want your sexuality to walk with you in peace. The more you treat it like a villain or something to be caged, the more problems you create. 7. Fill your cup in the areas that matter. Friends, family, work, hobbies. It may not always feel good but it will be fulfilling. 8. Don’t count the days, count the times when you feel an urge and practice processing - not resisting. Just letting it be and giving it space. 9. If you relapse, it’s a learning opportunity. Journal where you were, what lead to it, and what was happening at the time. You may find answers that can help guide you to a better decision next time. No shame. Just part of the process. 10. Take it one day at a time. One moment at a time. Slow down. Give yourself a hug. Everything will be ok. You are trying. And that shows courage.
#2 is like meditation. When you feel the urge coming on… instead of reacting and trying to suppress it OR reacting and just giving in … you can drop into your body. What does it feel like? Where do I feel it? In my chest, throat, stomach? Heavy? Sticky? Pressing? The longer you stay with it the less scary it becomes. It’s a vibration in your body. That is all it is. It may seem like a lot but it’s simply a feeling. And the other part of this is seeing what thoughts come up that make the feeling stronger. Just like noticing the feeling, you can notice the thoughts. Ultimately, you are simply observing yourself having an urge. It takes practice. A lot of practice. But it gets better. It starts with accepting you are having an urge. And then being ok with sitting with it.