I failed myself

After a week and a half of doing good no struggles i was faced with temptation after temptation and while it was easy to say no at first then something big happened and i was very stressed out so i did what i always do.. im extremely disappointed but hopeful bc ive come so far and i know i can do better. To my girlfriend im sorry i have not only failed myself but i failed you too. I’m trying my best for you but sometimes my best isn’t enough I love you and I hope you don’t leave me because of this. I don’t want this for my life and I don’t want this for yours. To God I’m sorry not only have I failed you today but i fail you everyday. I’m trying to fix myself because i feel i’m not worthy enough to be fixed by you. But Lord no one is worthy. I want to spend more time with you Lord and be enveloped in your presence. I want to rely on your Holy Spirit to fight off temptation when it comes Lord. I believe in You it’s just hard to believe that You love me. Help me to see that you still love me Lord. To my future self reading this. Don’t do it. The pain is almost unbearable and right now i hate myself and the decision i made. I have to face the consequences telling my girlfriend, telling God, when my friends ask bc I was bragging to them before I have to tell them too. And that’s okay it’s part of the journey and i’m not a perfect person. No one is perfect and as long as I am working on my flaws and what makes me imperfect I can succeed.