Advice?
I messed up bad… I got exposed to porn at 12, I’m currently 26, Christian, and carried it into my relationship… I can’t believe myself for not beating this by now. All of this has been the biggest mistake of my life. I love my girlfriend and I see myself spending my life with her. I don’t know if she feels the same way anymore. We talked about it about six months ago but I messed up by not coming clean the first conversation we had about it. Now even though I really have stopped she doesn’t trust me which is totally understandable.. I don’t know what to do to earn her trust back. I gave my life to Christ almost ten years ago and I know I should turn to him for help. I’m trying to, but I’m really struggling mentally. I can’t tell her how horrible this makes me feel because that’s just wrong. I’m the one who messed up. But man does this feeling make you just want to drown in the mess you’ve made… at the time of writing this nothing but dread and claustrophobic loneliness fill my mind.. maybe this is just me coming on here trying to get some feelings out that I feel I can’t talk about anywhere else but I’m sorry if it comes off like me trying to sound like the victim. I’m not. I know that I did this and I guess I deserve this.
Man a lot of us have been in your very same situation, you're not alone. Don't wallow in misery it will only hurt you and your relationship worse. Work hard to be the man you'd be proud of being. Be productive, thoughtful and hardworking in everything you do and you'll go nowhere but up. Quitting this habit is the key first step in your growth, don't let yourself down man you can do this.