I feel stuck

I always say I’m quitting for real this time then I’m back at the start. Life has felt odd recently. I have had really powerful highs and then devastating lows all in the same month. My mental health has been pretty shitty recently and it makes me feel trapped. It feels like everything is crumbling around me and porn is the only thing I kinda have left. I know porn truly isn’t good for me, yet it gives me comfort. It’s like a placeholder for the feeling of a relationship I yearn for. Recently I was chatting with my friends and brought up porn addiction because I wanted to see if they were struggling as well. Their responses surprised me, they said they’re not really addicted and watch it every now and then. When I heard this I felt so alone and I honestly felt jealous. I wish I could be like them, and I want to just stop entirely but I just feel so scared. Some of my friends treat me like a freak for wanting to change, and it makes me feel alone. I wish I could just brute force this but I don’t think I can anymore. I need help from literally anyone and I want to be better, I just need someone to keep me accountable.