I’m trying so hard

Feels like im barely keeping my head above water. I’m at war with my thoughts in an unhealthy environment that I can’t escape. I have two kids full time. I had to take them from their mom because of abuse happening. I live with my dad and he is an alcoholic who has disrespected me in some of the worst ways you can disrespect someone. I remain peaceful with him but he legitimately has hatred in his heart towards me and it’s a shame. I don’t feel welcome in this house. So I spend most of my time in my room when I’m not working. My car just fully broke down on me and it’s too expensive to fix. I’m sitting in my room with no way to even go to the store without having to ask for a ride. I feel so exhausted and defeated. I’m trying to stick with this no porn no masterbation thing and the temptations have never been stronger. It would be nice to have at least something to give me a release..I’ve worked out so hard that my entire body is in pain. Can’t redline that and hurt myself..so I try to keep my mind occupied but it’s just me and these four walls and this phone. Truly feel stuck in my mind right now. No victim mentality here at all. I’m just genuinely hit with so many things at once and it’s really broken me down.