Reason Number 5 of why I want to quit porn. God gave me a vision 4 years ago

Alright here we go So July of 2021 (year I graduated) I went to the lake with a few friends of mine. Including the girl I had liked since 8th grade. Honestly one of the best weekends of my life, absolute blast. On the last day of our trip I’m sitting in the front seat of a boat facing the front. This girl was directly In front of me on the boat facing me or the back of the boat, but looking at me. The driver of the boat said let me know if you see any boats coming around a turn that was coming up. So I’m looking right past her looking for boats. Well after a while I notice her kind of staring at me, and her and I make eye contact. In this moment I knew with every fiber of my being this girl was going to be my wife. I felt this peace and I just knew. Fast forward 2 weeks, I go to church and the sermon is about relationships. After service there was a brief worship session. During this I’m praying to God asking what that was about on the boat. And I said Lord I don’t know if she is the one. And immediately for a second it was as if I was not in the church but in the boat having the exact moment where I thought “that’s going to be my wife.” Now I know what your thinking, wishful thinking or maybe your replaying a memory in your head. Which is what I thought. February of 2022 I’m sitting at work talking to my best friend (who is now my brother in law) about a different girl. I was still talking to the girl from the lake but I really didn’t see interest from her side so I was like I don’t think it matters. But this other girl was showing interest. So you see my predicament, and I’m explaining this to my friend. I’m confused and I don’t know what to do. And I said I really want to go see this girl that was interested in me. And then I said almost word for word “but then again I don’t know if *blank* is the one.” Again in our work office I am taken back to the boat and I’m sitting across from her and have the thought “that’s going to be my wife.” And then I’m back in the office. Crying my eyes out. Fast forward to March of 2023 she got a boy friend. And they have been dating since btw. So I’m thinking I don’t know what those visions were about but she has a boyfriend. February of 2024 I get a girlfriend. And on our first date, girl from the vision texts me for the first time in almost a year. Through out the entire relationship with this girl I feel guilty that I’m not listening to God, and I’m not trusting him. I end up breaking up with my gf and am now single. Fast forward to December of 2024 I’m sitting in my living room and I had watched porn that morning. I’m scrolling through my phone and see a video about a poem. A poem about the first time about seeing this girl and knowing she was the one. I instantly get hit with a memory, not a vision this time. In 8th grade on my first day of school at this new school. I see a girl walk into my class. And I thought that’s going to be my wife. Odd I’m 13, didn’t pay any mind and started liking some other girl pretty much the whole year until about the spring of the next year (still 8th grade) which is when I started liking the girl that this story is about. So I’m thinking this can not a coincidence, so I seek Christian counsel from 2 close friends that are Christians. One I have known since 8th grade. So I call him and ask to talk to him. He asks what about and I say “it’s about *blank*. He said something like I can’t believe you are still hung up on her. So I briefly explain and he said we need to meet up. So we end up getting together for coffee on January 1st of 2025. He prefaces the conversation with “when you first called I was going to talk you out of this, then I prayed about it and God has kind of changed my heart and showed me a verse.” Habakuk 2:2-3. Which says “write the vision make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end, it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay.” We end up talking for about 2 hours and before hand I had prayed immensely asking God for clarity in this conversation and my friend basically agreed with me that I need to trust God in this. So I’m trying to fix my life. I want to be a better man, a better Christian. I’m reading everyday, I have never done that unless for school. Working out 4-5 days a week, which I have done for the last 3 years anyway, reading my Bible 2 times a day, praying and finding time with God before and after work. But why I’m on this app, is because I need to be free from this addiction. Because it’s been apart of my life for 8 years. If what God showed me is true I have to try. I have to become the man God wants me to be. To hopefully lead this woman. And if it doesn’t happen so be it, I’ll lead someone else. If you’re not a Christian I know this sounds crazy, I was skeptical for a long time about God and faith. But I have been reading books to better understand, how we got here and the apologetics of Christianity and the arguments against atheism. But I believe there is a God, a relational God who loves us. And if he showed me this vision for a reason then I have to try and believe him. Because honestly for a while I didn’t take the visions seriously. But things kept coming up, that was pointing me in that direction. So I’m getting sober for God. And for this girl. And Lord I pray that I stay strong, and that I’m discerning this correctly and that I’m not being lead astray. I will quit this addiction, because 4 years ago God gave me a vision.