Porn takes away from everything I want in life.

I just relapsed again, and I’m pissed but tomorrow is a new day you know. It takes away the motivation to want to do things I need to get done. It takes away the desire to want to pursue a relationship with a girl. For example today at church there is a girl that I was kind of walking next to out of the church. She was beautiful and I’m looking for a Godly woman so at least 2 things that are on my checklist. And I didn’t say a word, because I’m not confident in who I am, in what I can offer as a man to a woman. I fear will never be enough for someone to love. That I will never be able to do enough to keep her happy. And this is the story of my life btw. So many girls I have thought about approaching and never did. Usually because of shame from porn, but also I’m just not confident in who i am. It’s almost to the point that I feel like no one wants me. I’ve been on 3 dating apps for over a month now and have gotten 2 matches both of which never even responded to my messages to them. My first GF cheated on me and the next one lasted 2 months, I was crushed and she started dating a guy a week later, that she ended up marrying. And those are the only two people that I have ever dated, granted I think they both were out of my league, but still. Porn has made me so unconfident and angry at who I am as a person, that I almost don’t even feel wanted or desired by a female. I have never had a girl approach me and ask for my number. I have never been approached by a girl in a public setting that tried to flirt with me a little. I’ve been hit on by gay guys. So I guess there that but, I just don’t feel wanted. And I want to be wanted and I want to have options, because I want a good wife. But porn just takes away everything I want in life. And I want to be wanted