Sexual urges and religion
This is a long rant but id appreciate advice/opinions/thoughts I have been trying to quit this addiction for a few months now and while I still fall down often, I’ve been learning, improving, and trying harder everyday. Im 19 have been addicted to porn the majority of my life. I hit rock bottom a few months ago and only then did I realize it was a problem. I have never had a healthy relationship and have objectified women my whole life due to my excessive porn use. I’ve never really been religious mainly because I loved porn/sex to much. But when I hit my lowest God was there for me and showed me mercy. My problem is that I want to build a relationship with God but I don’t know how. I pray every now and then and go to church on Sundays. I turn to him for strength and forgiveness when my addiction gets the best of me. But that is pretty much the extent of what I do/know. But here is my dilemma. Since I haven’t been jerking and watching porn as often as I had been the last 10 years I’m more horny than ever. I find myself craving sex because in my head I have much healthy relationships with sex compared to porn. I haven’t actually had sex since I’ve started trying to quit but I’ve been talking/asking out girls for what I can’t help to feel is for the wrong reasons. I keep telling myself it’s healthy/normal but I also know that sex before marriage is a sin and I feel like I owe it to God. I know this is really shallow and I know the answer is going to be to not have sex but I crave someone so bad and idk if I could stop myself from having sex if I had the opportunity. Am I betraying God if I have sex? Am I supposed to stay single because my brain is already fucked from all my porn use? I hope this makes sense to someone. I am not sure how to deal with this any advice is appreciated.
Hey brother, first off, I want to say thank you for being vulnerable and honest. It takes strength to bring this kind of struggle into the light, and I believe God honors that. It sounds like you’re caught in a real spiritual and emotional battle, between the desires of your flesh and your desire to follow Christ. That tension is something a lot of us face, and you’re not alone. You’re also not shallow. You’re human, and you’re trying to heal from years of patterns that were harmful. That healing is going to take time and grace , and thankfully, God has both in abundance. Here are a few things that might help: 1. Your identity is not in your past: Your worth is in Christ, not in your performance. 2. Craving sex doesn’t make you sinful — The desire for intimacy and sex is natural. God created it. What matters is how we respond to those desires. 3. You’re not meant to do this alone: Do you have brothers in Christ you can talk to regularly? Accountability and real community can be game-changing. 4. Let God shape your motivations : Keep inviting God into your dating life . He can purify your heart and intentions. You’re not beyond redemption in this area. 5. Be patient with yourself: Healing from addiction, especially porn, doesn’t happen overnight. There will be falls and stumbles. But every time you fall, run toward God, not away from Him. He’s not surprised by your struggle, and He isn’t going to give up on you. Finally, no, you’re not “betraying God” just because you struggle. The very fact that you care about honoring Him shows that your heart is turned toward Him. Keep leaning on His grace and power. You’re in a battle, but God is with you, and He’s stronger than your flesh. Let’s try to connect. I’m going through a similar process. Find me on Instagram: @gebonilla19 , shoot me a text anytime. Say this is Sam… Would be glad to talk, get to know you, and share experiences! Praying for you, brother. You’re on the right path.