Does anyone here struggle with P-OCD
I know its extremely taboo but this has been genuinely a life long struggle of mine & im willing to share anonymously. this most definitely plays a major part in my porn addiction and guilt i feel daily. I have been trying to work through this for years but some days i just really can’t get out of my own way. I was exposed to material of that nature when I was 12, repeatedly, and at that age, i didn’t truly comprehend the severity of what I was being shown. it genuinely messed me up and I have struggled to this day. I was also SA’d around the same age by someone my age. Constantly now the porn industry pushes younger & younger content, triggering me, bringing me back to that moment in my head. And the unbelievable presence of pornography like this on social media platforms like twitter & telegram absolutely turns my stomach; and causes me to go through these multiple week long bouts of anxiety and depression and heightened POCD symptoms anytime i see anything regarding that. I wish that things like this didn’t even exist in this world, let alone be present on social media, right there for anyone to see, and literally even with reporting, still proceeds to sit online. Does anyone else struggle with these feelings. I just hate feeling like my entire life I am going to live in fear and struggle with these thoughts. I have expressed this to my partner, and to my parents, who have understood my trauma and past, stand by me and love me and don’t think i’m some monster, but i can’t help feeling like im broken daily.
I just don’t know why some days are SO much worse than others. I genuinely try to be a loving & caring individual in this world, I try to put out only good and praise all the good moments to the glory of god. I just can’t stand the fact that no matter what I try to do, I cant move past this.