I’m sick and tired of this

I’m tired of living this life! I get lonely I head straight to porn, stressed, back to porn board, back again to porn. I’m a Christian and I know it’s wrong yet I keep coming back to it to “seemingly” find my fulfillment. I’m tired of it I want to be free I want to honor and Glorify the savior who died for me to take the wrath that I deserve from God and died in the cross so that I can spend eternity with Him. I know I’m saved but with this life sin im choosing to commit it’s like I’m using salvation as a get out of Hell free card and that’s wrong! The longest I’ve made it has been 11 days. I’m restarting one day at a time. I’m going to put my life in Gods hands and not my own because I know full well what I want is of the flesh and I want to be more like Christ and less like myself. Thank you fFather for your mercy and grace help me live for you and not myself- Amen