Ruining my life
2 years ago I prayed God would let me date my best friend. She seemed like everything I ever wanted. God granted my wish and she was all that plus some. I was addicted to porn and masturbation since i was 14 years old. Now 7 years later at 21 i still am. It has ruined my relationship with that woman of my dreams. We dated for a little less than 2 years and because of my lustful thoughts towards any women I saw and tons of lustful thoughts towards my ex it ruined us. When we had sex often I had struggles maintaining an erection long enough for sex, it resulted in my spending hundreds of dollars on online porn and pills to make me hard. I even resorted to sexting another women online, i made fake accounts to text my ex. Masturbated to dozens of other girls instagram pictures. I’m ashamed to admit all that. Its made me hate myself. I’m embarrassed of the “man” I have become. She made me happier than I ever was but when she left me a month ago i went spiraling into a depression, doing nothing at all but sitting playing video games and taking off days at work. Im asking for prayers that God gives me the strength and wisdom to overcome this disease and I will continue to do the same for you all. But in you guys and reading the awesome stories you guys have i have hope for myself that I can get better for that women, for myself, but most importantly for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am starting my journey and as of today I am 1 day sober! May Jesus Christ be with us all!✝️
I believe God granted that wish to test you and you failed. That’s okay. Solomon failed when he was given everything he asked for and then some and he was and will always be the wisest person to ever live. I destroyed my previous relationship in nearly the exact same way but the sex was actually killing me spiritually and fueling my porn addiction. It was not until it came crumbling down that I was able to see clearly what God truly had in store for me. It was when the mud was removed from the blind man’s eyes in John 9. That’s what it means to be baptized with the Holy Spirit. It’s literally death to your old self and rebirth as a new creation