Absolutely crushed today
I realized today that I used masturbation and porn to fill a hole and myself and cope with anxiety. Last night I had a mental breakdown, I’m talking laying on the bathroom floor hyperventilating, trying not to pass out. As this was beginning, the thought crossed my mind that I should watch porn and masturbate to cope but thankfully in that split second I said nope. I ended up on the floor about to pass out, crying, groaning, wanting to die. I’ve never experienced something like that before, and realized that this anxiety was born out of the fact that I need attention and reassurance from others to feel worthy of love, something I should be cultivating for myself. These emotions I’ve been avoiding for years, now crushing me in my mid 20s. Remember boys the path isn’t easy but that’s why we do it. I ended up not sleeping all night and called off of work this morning because if no one else is going to show me care, then I should. Even a lone wolf licks his own wounds. And love isn’t weakness, it’s the glue that binds us in strength. Thank you guys for this community.
you should be proud of yourself man, i will be like you one day.