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I just did something horrible…

Day 0
by Yugi
4333 upvotes

In this post I’m going to be open and honest about what just happened. So I was watching porn all last night from 11pm till about 2am and was scrolling and scrolling. From then I ended up on an escort/paid sex website where I made arrangements to meet up with someone and have sex with them. I used my uncles money $80 to have sex with a Mexican girl for 30 minutes. I went to the place and had sex with her this is at around 12-1pm (less then 20 minutes from this post) and got hit with the biggest post nut clarity I’ve ever had in my life… I sat in the part for a solid 30 minutes questioning my life choices and my purpose as well as my existence. I’m being open and honest about what happened and what led up to this which was porn. I’ve been stuck in this look of watching porn for the last 2-3week and I hate it. Yet I always find myself on the web again at somepoint. Please if you have any advice,recommendations, motivation or inspirations to help me switch my mindset and my view on this all I would greatly appreciate it. I am an example of what porn can lead too and when the extreme use of porn just isn’t enough, it reaches into your wallet or a family members trust…

Comments (7)
Д.Б.83d ago

Hey Yugi. I’m also a case where the addiction progressed to escorts. The crash after is harrowing, every time. It was concealed insanity, and damn near drove me to open insanity. If you aren’t already in one, you may benefit from an IRL S-Program. And get yourself busy on something that’s both wholesome and cool. Idleness is like kerosene for this addiction, which in its newly reached form promises “adventure” and a “rush,” neither of which lasts.

Yugi83d ago

All comments and support is greatly appreciated because I can’t talk about this with anyone I know…

Yugi83d ago

It was much worse on the past where I’d spend between $200-$400 on nudes and sex in total but I just felt this needed to be brought to light and this is one way to hold myself accountable. I can’t tell any of my family or friends about this because I can’t get vulnerable with them to this level but I’m going to try turn to Christ and change my life around…

Joe83d ago

Change the settings on your phone to block all things tempting. Use key words like porn, sex, escort, etc. & block them. That’s in phone settings. Then use this app to also block those types of things. It’s a continuous journey to battle & heavy amounts of discipline is required. Trust me I get it. I’ve relapsed a bunch of times & like 2 or 3 years ago I cashed app women for nudes & stuff & I was scammed out of like $25-$30 not a ton but still makes you reflect more. Keep on battling & turn to Christ. It’s a tough addiction to bring to a friend or families attention for help. But The Lord will not judge you.

Nicholas83d ago

My biggest advise is porn is #1 self destroyer. Atleast you’re able to have sex, some of us aren’t able and are fighting to become healthy physically and free from porn because they went too far deep. Stop your urges immediately and shift your focus to anything to keep you busy.

Yugi83d ago

I’m deleting social media from now for a month minimum

Yugi83d ago

I’m moving forward from this and this is the post where I make my mark as the last time I’ll watch porn or even consider paying for sex

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