Well here I am. The absolute rock bottom. My wife absolutely loathes me, or so it feels like it. I honestly cannot blame her. This is the 5th time I’ve been caught, I deserve anything she says to me. I hate myself even more for letting this addiction become this bad. I feel like I want to die. I just want hope.
This might be for the best brother. Now she knows your struggles. The bandaid has been ripped off. You are committed to quitting porn, I’m sure she wants you to quit porn. While I’m sure she feels hurt and perhaps disgusted, that had to happen sooner or later. Once the dust settles, talk to her about a plan moving forward. Even if that plan involves you talking to someone else about your addictions (like a friend, pastor, counselor). You are stronger together
If you love her, you’ll stop hating yourself. Freedom is impossible with self loathing shame, there is a healthy version of shame, but this an’t it. If you’re able to get rid of all your screens, do it. And put heavy restrictions on your phone. Treat yourself like an addicted child, don’t trust yourself. Have a friend help you with the restrictions and porn blockers, if you have your wife help you out it will only make her more anxious and contemptuous. You got this brother 🙂↕️ ✋🙏
If you got dome church friends, please talk with em. They’ll understand the fight much more
Its not over yet bro. Since youre alive, God isnt done with you.
U got this
U have a great thing and that is a wife u should do this for her u got this like the Bible say he who find a wife finds what is good and receive proverb 18:22
“Know that wisdom is thus for your soul; If you find it, then there will be a future, And your hope will not be cut off.” Proverbs 24:14 NASB1995 https://bible.com/bible/100/pro.24.14.NASB1995
Have you ever read through and done a study on the book of proverbs?
Don’t give up man we are all on the same path just different situations think about the good that will come from giving it up
You got this man
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There is a better life for you out there without this addiction brother. Never believe that you’re too far gone. You just need some help outside of yourself. God can save you from this darkness that you’re in if you ask for forgiveness and have a genuine desire for change. Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”