Disappointed

Lord forgive me as i took advantage of your grace. Have mercy on me my God. I am hurting right now. After a week of doing great, i have been reading a book to help with porn addiction. I came across things i wasn’t too familiar with and i looked them up on google so i can understand better so i can understand the book more…. Well it was a hardcore porn word and when i was on google to look it up it brought me to pages where it showed porn. The holy spiriit helped me to get off and decern that it wasn’t good. I continued to read and the urge to continue looking at each word got more potent and potenent and i justified to myself that i was doing it to “learn” i knew deep inside with the holy spirits comviction and i did it anyways. The enemy whispers in my ear just do it, you’ve already sind just do it. The holy spirits telling me to get off. I didn’t get off and i stayed on and kept browsing and eventually i relapsed. I’m sitting there disappointed down and depressed and not even 10 min later the enemy tells me just do it again, you already relapsed. What did i do. I did it again. I am disgusted in myself that i would allow myself to go back to my old ways as i am born again and made new. I allowed the enemy to convince me that it was okay to sin again even tho i had already sinned and felt convicted. I wanted to feel pleasure even tho i caused the Lord pain. Repentance isn’t just saying I’m sorry but turning away and fleeing from what the flesh and the enemy want. I pray for you all who read this, to learn from my mistake. Don’t give the enemy an inch he will take you a mile and lead you to death. God does not condemn the enemy does. Don’t listen to the enemy and listen to God. Stay strong brothers