You already said what kind of man you are - someone who’s committed to improving and working to overcome this weakness. Guilt and shame can only take you so far. Even Jesus didn’t punish with guilt, He healed with love. Maybe give yourself some credit and love for doing a hard thing and working toward improvement. I don’t think grace is all or nothing, sometimes I think it works exactly like you described - each time helping us get a little closer to the goal.

I appreciate your responses and i would be willing to try the accountability partner. Anything to overcome this. It’s hard to have people who don’t understand your struggles or the things you think of yourself when you fight these demons..so, I would be down to at least try! I want to be committed. Not only to my wife but also to myself and to overcoming this. I want to be committed to destroying this struggle and waking up free without worry. To be able to stand tall and not fall. I want to be happy.

The journey to freedom is eternal. It’s your commitment that matters. Failure is everywhere in business, marriage and life in general. It’s the commitment through all this that matters. Accountability is distinct from bashing. The benefit of bashing is constant repetition in order to feel good about the error. What’s done is done and can’t be reversed at the point. So the question is what’s next? The benefit of accountability to yourself is awareness of the causal factor of porn in that moment. The cost is growth. I like that you care about yourself and your wife. Your question is valid in a creative way, beyond bashing yourself. Who would you be? Having given up porn? And what would that person do anytime urges come up? See if this question offers insights on your path. Yours in responsibility

I’ve heard from a YouTube video that having an accountability partner can make a big difference when it comes to this. By chance this is the first post I’ve read since coming on the app. Seeing as our situations are very similar, are you down to try that together?

Hey man, it’s almost like you described my exact situation