Failed after 5 days lmao

I don’t feel as devastated as I should but maybe that’s cause it’s 4 in the morning and I got someone off instead of just myself? Technically not “porn” but through lovense and sexting, which is also something I’ve been addicted to, so I count it as a relapse. I guess it was a nice interaction but still. My brain is constantly finding excuses or alternatives to feed the lust, and the abstinence from masturbating has made it difficult. I know I need professional therapy, but I am quite devastated that I lost today. I know I’ll kick myself for it tomorrow. But this isn’t the end for me, I will keep climbing day after day and get further up that hill. And I know for a fact that I shouldn’t be having caffeine so late if I’ve got idle hands at night— and definitely no more phones in bed. That’s all I have to share, wish me luck. I’d really love to mold myself into a loving husband one day, and my urges will only be for my wife. I’m sick of this lust. Anyway, cheers to the rest of us. 🍻