24 hours. Just my thoughts.

Nowhere else to share so I’ll do it here. The sharing aspect helps, I’ve been reading messages here it’s like a journal, a diary. It helps knowing I’m not alone, that other people go through something similar. I just got home from work, and i usually lay in bed and masturbate at this point. Tonight is the first night I’m not doing that, and it definitely feels weird to tell my brain no. It’s (my brain) confused, I’ll tell you that much. Doesn’t understand why I’m saying no & not giving in to the urge but it’ll get the gist eventually. I’ll play some video games and then go to bed. Some mixed emotions, excited to start the journey but scared to embrace what’s to come. What will come? Anger? Stress? Anxiety? Irritability? I hope i don’t come off awkward or weird to my partner. She’s a big motivator on why i quit, i want to be able to look at her and engage with her without thinking about the women I see on porn websites or social media. I love my girlfriend and I find her so beautiful. She truly is. I want to rewire my brain to understand that & not resort to porn. 2:02am, it’s officially 24 hours since I’ve watched porn. Here’s to another 24 hours. Thanks for giving me a safe space to share my thoughts.